my ra1n

lets make it short. i like it that way.

as the character portrayed by ash rai prays,

oh god, pls dont let my anger die off....

likewise, i pray,

oh, pls dont put off the fire inside me.

oh, pls dont dilute my feelings against them who spit b***s**t.(yuck! they do)

i hate to say this. but yes, am not liking it at all.

this is about, all that I heard about raavanan/raavan. for the uninitiated, this is maniratnam's new creation.mani's own baby.ramayana re-told. and as my wife said, rightly so, that what he tried to tell was that, "there is a raavanan hidden in every raman and there is a raman inside every raavanan". he was successful, big time, in what he tried to say. may be, many dint understand or lets say, many dint care to understand. rather than caring to find this out, people try to find faults. or may be its that they are pretending. i wonder, recruiting them to IT industry, giving them the basic, minimum training, technical/functional or for that matter, none at all, would do miracles as far as finding 'quality' testing resources are concerned. they could also be utilized to train the existing, 'unskilled laborers' for what i felt is they could be extremely good in what they 'teach', 'preach'. read as in, brain-washing their readers/followers' minds. although showering praises in bits and pieces, they dig out the negatives which are either buried deep under or even non-existing, bring them out and cover it over the denser and bigger positives. how much ever they try, the positives would come out shining. at least to people who cares.

This, in no way, totally, echo my feelings.

this aint it.

thers lot more, still fuming inside.

sad that I cant write it down here.

glad that people dont get to read them.;-)

let it be inside me, for am lovin' it.:-D

For the sun shining through. For Mani.

PS: Thanks ‘Are Yem’ and all those who inspired me to start/restart jotting down my thoughts. Appreciate your patience:-D

Photo Courtesy: http://gilad.deviantart.com/gallery/#/dfggts

once upon a time..

differences, distances, silence, vacuum, random reflections, a smile, laughter, happiness. An otherwise boring day turned out to be action packed, well kinda, thanks google, yet again..:-D

they were having slight differences in opinion about something. or was it about some ‘things’. not sure; may be the difference in opinion grew from one thing to the next and to the next, cumulatively. they were not in talking terms for quite some time now. quite sometime would only be just some hours. but considering the fact that they weren’t like this before and that they cant be, this 'quite some time' was quite a quiet period in their short life together. for sure, they both, hated it. but their respective egos prevented them from 'disturbing' this silence between them and they were quietly holding to it; the silence grew in between them to such deafening levels. yes, deafening levels, frightening. for sure, they both, hated it.

lying on their bed, keeping definite distance between themselves, they were constantly staring at the rotating fan. Suddenly the power went off. the fan, came to a stop, slowly and steadily. yes, not an abrupt stop. it doesnt make sense, had it been an abrupt stop. it cant be. Well, that I think might be something to do with inertia, momentum et al. we are better of not discussing Newton, here. neither moving things can come to an abrupt end nor stagnant things can get started without a spur. even though it was late October, it was hot. not blistering as in summer, but it was enough to worsen the already steaming 'cold war' between them. that again reflects the ‘fact’ that the negativity between them was growing to astounding levels. astounding, deafening, frightening and what not! they were looking for reasons to fight. reasons, not to talk with each other. reasons, to show off. yes, they were keeping definite distance with each other, which was growing indefinitely. showing of; they both, kinda loved it.

laptop was still on. internet connection was up. his hands tried to reach hers. she reached for the touch pad with her other hand, moving a little away from him and clicked on the chrome icon. The browser window was open and she typed www.google.com with her left hand. the all white screen of the search giant opened up. she looked onto the monitor, he too. They both wondered as to what to type, as in, what to search for. Search happiness, is it? Sounds logical, though highly impractical. wish the search giant help in their pursuit of happyness (www.imdb.com/title/tt0454921 ). Oops, happiness, no pun intended. they both saw each others’ reflections in the monitor. a lil smile blossomed on her face; he laughed out loud as if he was waiting to see that smile. she took the hand away from the touchpad, took off the internet connection, switched off the laptop. The definite distance between them have now become ‘indefinite’. they both, for sure, loved it. Yahoo!

Photo Courtesy: http://gilad.deviantart.com/art/Leading-Me-Home-33268097

horn OK please

couple of, in fact, a string of random thoughts flowing through my mind, causing near-to-violent turbulence.. no, not a tsunami.. so yeah, cant call it, a string sorts.. its in a utter random manner, in no specific order.. its not very dangerous except that it can get injected into me any time.. while am eating, walking, doing something on my computers, all of which is not cause of any big concern.. well, almost. but it might sound a bit dangerous when i say that these turbulence gets started even when am riding bike..:-o well, not really. am alert while driving. period.

one of the thoughts that is causing turbulence is that question, Why am I still hanging around here? here as in, in this place, with this people and work! Why am I not able to move on? why am i kind of stuck up? more than the questions, it looks like the answers that are causing more turbulence. answers, are not really answers, but, are raising questions again! am I that inefficient, ignorant, lazy and what not? or on a positive side, am i getting too much loyal to the people who 'guided' a mediocre mechanical engineering grad to jump into the software bandwagon, molding him into a species that is one of the most popular subjects of discussion in our part of the world.. which includes both, real and the virtual world. so yea, what is that making me stay back? How i wish i knew the answer!

there is this another thought coming to my mind, more often these days.. especially when am riding my bike. now that might sound dangerous. but contrary to what I tried saying before, its not causing much turbulence.. at least, i hope! usually I get to ride the bike in the midst of uncountable vehicles producing indeterminate pollution.. in the form of sound, smoke and what not. even i do contribute to the smoke part of the pollution, but not sound. except for the slight little sound that my bike produces in order to go forward, the sound or the noise is very less when compared to my 'complaining' neighborhood. but then, does that mean that i dont honk at all..? yes, there is a definite answer this time. YES, i do not honk and the reason for that, would not be a try-hard-to-crack guesses like (a) i just returned after a visit from west, or may be for that matter, outside india (b)follow the traffic rules religiously (c) respect fellow travellers (d) anti-honking supporter or some other try-hard-to-guess options.. its plain and simple, the horn of my bike is not working and its not working for quite some time now. i wonder, how it got synonymous with my life nowadays; not that I dont complaint at all, but I dont, much. At times i feel irritated by the honks, complaints et al, but most of the times, it doesnt affect me. if its genuine, it will be dealt with, by me or by any one else who are getting affected. i really cant comment about others, may be they will deal with those complaints even if they themselves are not affected. May be they are more concerned, not necessarily about those who raise the complaints, but to themselves as well.

there is more to come.. well, yes. at times, I wonder, why these turbulence? why cant I just ignore it? why cant I just bring it on, at least by typing it down.well, i did now. it might not look like any great thing now, but it was. It still is, to some extent. Am not going to let this turbulence come down; as if I am in control of it; this is something which is keeping me lively. And as some one rightly pointed out, indecision is the key to flexibility, or is it just that it was feeling that it was pointed at me. Another thing which created turbulence in some way or the other was the movie, kerala café (http://www.keralacafe.in/) – a collection of 10 short films, the common theme being, journeys. Its difficult to choose the best story, but as many who have watched this movie, the bridge and puram kazhachakal were the ones which I liked the most. I highly recommend it – could cause some turbulence. Happy journey, mates.

Well, I haven finished yet. Life going on. yahoo!

Photo Courtesy: http://gilad.deviantart.com/art/It-s-a-brand-new-day-123413610

yahoo!

Its been a while that I actually sat down and thought about thinking something, which would ultimately lead myself, to write something.. cant say writing, scribbling would be better or don’t know a more appropriate term for this activity.. not washing of my hands from all those crimes in 360, but yes, I cant exactly call it a name.. it was some thing..it was something, very close to my heart and which still is.. may be, that is the reason why I never cared to replace the 360 thing with anything else.. the space, the vacuum created by the disappearance of it cannot be replaced by any other spots..oops, do I sound sentimental..? meant nothing else. no pun intended about any spots..;-)

Well then, am trying to settle down somewhere..i know and no-one else would know better than me, as to how difficult it is to a leave some things so close to your heart.. thanks to the innumerable situations wherein I was compelled to leave, compelled to vacate, compelled to change. Well, its okay.. I had moved on and I will.

Life has changed..a lot, in fact. Life has changed a lot from the last time when I sat down and tried to settle in my thoughts in black and white..life has changed, for good. My coordinates have changed, my priorities have changed, as I very carelessly responded to one of my friend’s curious queries about my inactivity in web spaces and spots… oops, I did it again..

yes then, life has changed, my coordinates have changed, my priorities have changed, well a little bit.. and many things which were associated with me have gone for a toss and are no longer ‘ME’, well almost. So, is this an attempt to go back to those days? Not really, is this an attempt to change and defeat or rather protect myself from the changes? I don’t think so either. I feel, now that things have pretty much settled down and probably I am in a position to gauge myself, to control things happening in and around me, I might frequent more here.. I think so..i think that I will get the time, energy and inspiration to think, to think whatever am used to, earlier. But then, I don’t know for how long this energy, this enthu would last, to settle down in some other spot..i think, am sporty enough to get settled down in any spot. So yea, long story short, or rather not going round and round beating around the same old bush, I just spotted my spot. back, all the way back, coming back around. three sixty degrees. yahoo!

Photo Courtesy:http://gilad.deviantart.com/art/The-Bird-Watcher-53843634